jo bekke nd darrrel in PANIM 1 da hungr gams
by Mermes
Summary: A commentary on the worst fanfic the Hunger Games fandom has ever seen. Meet jo bel, the ultimate, southerner Mary Sue. Warning: This story may cause loss of sanity and brain cells.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, first of all: THIS ISN'T MY STORY! I'm as appalled by this as any of you are (or will be after you've read this monstrosity), but this commentary had to be done.**

**Meet Jo Bel, the PROUD (note the caps, she is PROUD) southerner that hates northerners and has made it her life's goal to mutilate the best FanFiction fandoms using Mary Sues and OOCness as her weapons.**

**Warning: This story may cause temporary insanity, many face-palms and loss of brain cells.**

**You have been warned.**

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><p><strong>An: DONT FLAM DID STURY U DUM DUM!1111111111111111 <strong>(This is the FIRST chapter and you're already expecting flames. Are you related to Sybill Trelawney, by any chance?)

**Bi da wae go reed Bubbas stortyy!1111111111 **(Bubba is supposed to be her brother)

**Chapter 1 da reeping. **(She managed to spell one word correctly! *_*)

**JO BELKES POv **(Oh, so she's JO BELKES now? I thought she was jo bell. Or does she have more than one name? Is that another of her many Mary Sue traits?)

**1 dayy I wok up in district 11 WHER DA SUTHURNURS liv** (See? I told you, she is PROUD)** nd I realized I mite get reeped cuz we ran ote of blak people to snd 2 da reaping!11111111111111 **(Oooooh, so she's racist as well as illiterate? What a lovely young lady!)

**Thin I wnt to the towen skware nd I sawa… **(Ah, can't you just see the amazing quality of her writing? The detail?)

**DARRYL MY CUZIN **(ALL-CAPS RAGE!)

**DArrels pov, **(In real life, this Darryl is her boyfriend)

Thin,…..

Effie trinket sed, NOW dis yeer 2 tributs get a specal advantage! **(Special advantage? What, you're going to give them guns in the Arena or something like that? And isn't this supposed to be District 11? Wouldn't it make more sense for the kids from Districts 1 and 2 to get a special advantage, since they're the Capitol's favorites? SO MANY QUESTIONS)**

NOWE R TRIBUTS WILL B… **(Oh, the tension! Can't you feel it? I wonder who they'll be?)**

JO BKEL ND DARREL!111111111111 **(I did not see that coming. At all. It was totally unexpected. No, really,)**

NXT Tim:

SA CAPITIL!11111111111111 **(Please don't write more T^T)**

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><p><strong>So, how's your brain? Is it dead yet? My Immortal commentators have told me that brain bleach is good for this kind of thing.<strong>

**Reviewers get brain bleach and cheese buns! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Greetings, my dear readers.**

**A huge THANK YOU to both my reviewers. You're amazing and your reviews made me laugh xD**

**Well, here it is: Chapter 2 of this monstrosity. There's still time to click the back button...**

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><p><strong>AN: STOP FLAMIN YUR JUS JELUS IF MI WRITINN ABILity!11111111111111111111 <strong>(*cough* Yeeeeah, of course we are... NOT. My little brother writes better than you)

**BI da wae did u c da movee?/ OMG!11111111111111111111111111111 **(NO, I HAVEN'T SEEN IT SO SHUT UP! *sobs*)

**HO BEKKES POV !11111111111 **(Ho Bekkes... _Ho_ Bekkes... Am I the only one who just giggled at that?)

**Chapter 1: da reeping **(Apparently, 'chapter' is the only word you can spell correctly...)

**On the morning of the reeping I wok up. **(Wok = Chinese food)

**Mi mom katnis everdeen** (NOOOOOOOOO! DON'T DRAG KATNISS INTO THIS, YOU HORRID BEAST!)** gav me sum** (I wonder how good you are at maths) **brakefast**.** She used to liv in distrik 12 but shed dcidd to bcum mor suthurn so she movd to 11. **(That... That makes no sense. Let the OOCness begin!)

**MI father peeta** (NOOOOO, THE BADASS BAKER CAN'T BE YOUR DAD! PLEASE!)** was makin bread cuz he loves to cook** (He bakes. Peeta Mellark is a baker. Hey, why is your surname Bekke if your dad is Peeta Mellark? Maybe he's not your dad and all this is part of some 'unexpected' plot twist. Ha, I bet Gale's yo daddy. Or Haymitch).** Mi** (Spanish word...)** muther and father won the hungr gams wen they war kids **(*gasp* Really? Wow, I totally didn't know that!)

**Mi cuzin who was** (Was? So he's dead now? YEAH!)** gales kids nam is darrel and hes MI BOYFREND!11111111111111111111111111 **(Oh damn, he's alive. Yay. And a Gary Stu. And your boyfriend. Am I the only one who can already predict how this so-called story will end?)

**Gale and catnis r sisters. **(*giggles*)

**So dat morning we wnt to the towen skware!111111 **(Uh... deja vu, much?)

**Effee trinket was ther,**

**\**

"**ALRITE LISSEN UP U **_AW__**SUM **_distirkt 11" (Effie Trinket is supposed to be in District 12... And I doubt she'd call any District 'awsum'. In fact, she just wants to get promoted to Districts 1 or 2. Read the book)

DARREL POV

I saaw mi awsum GIRL FREND in the reeping crowd. **(Oh, so she's your GIRL FREND? I thought she was your _girlfriend_? I'm confused now)**

I llove her so much **(Aaaaaaaw, how cheesy. I like cheese. Cheese is epic, especially on pizza)**

Efie sed, "alritee I hav sum BAAAAAD news." **(What is it? Are you going to kill someone? You're cool, Effie, you can kill a Mary Sue and get away with it. KILL THE SUE, KILL THE STU!)**

"O NO WAT IS IT?" I sed. **(If that's how you say things, I don't even want to think about how you'd scream them...)**

"we ran ote of blak people 2 send into the hungr gamms!11111" **(So... racist... Must... resist... urge... to rant...)**

O ! **(That was random)**

"SO wer **(that's a German word)** gonna send the best suthurnurs in so that we can win this yeer" **(Oooooh, I wonder who they'll be?)**

"O bi da wae, 2 tributs will hav a SPECUL ADVANTAG THIS YEeer!11111" **(DEJA VU!)**

THEN SHE SED "THOS TRIBUTS WILL BE… **(MORE ALL-CAPS RAGE! ROOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRR!)**

JO BELLE ND DARREL! **(Le gasp!)**

NXT TIM; GUBYE 2 mi **(That's Spanish... DO NOT DRAG MY NATIVE LANGUAGE INTO THIS)** families.

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><p><strong>Sadly, there are no more chapters after this one... yet. I'll update as soon as jo bel (*cough* TARA GILESBIE *cough*) does :)<strong>

**Reviewers get free cookies! :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Dear readers,**

**I'm sorry to say that jo bel's account and all of her stories have been deleted. I managed to get my hands on this chapter, but this story will probably never be updated again. Unless jo bel makes a new account, of course.**

**I loved commentating this monstrosity and I will miss it very much. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed :)**

**Well, here it is: Chapter 3**

BAN: STOP FLAMAIN **(Your story's gone, darling, we can't flame it now)**

Jo bekkles pOv

I wnt to daa meetin rume, hello! I saed 2 mi family **("Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad! Guess what? I'M GONNA BE THROWN INTO AN ARENA WHERE I'LL PROBABLY DIE!")**

WIN JO BEKLE, they screemed at me\ **(Of course she'll win, she's a Mary Sue. She'll blind us with her beauty and sparkles and whatever else Sues have...)**

I WILL I sed, rollin my eyes haply **(How do you roll your eyes happily? Is that even possible?)**

WE LUV U!, then they left cuz I had 2 get on a trane **(*gasp* That was so dramatic! Oh, can't you _feel_ their pain at being separated from their child? I can't)**

Daarrels pov,

Wen I got on the trane I saw a bunch of avoxes!11 **(How shocking)**

Then jo belle nd I wnt to mi rume, WE STARTED…. **(Shagging like bunnies?)**

…..

.

….

….

..

…

…..

….

EETING FUDE **(OH MY PEETA, THAT WAS SO FUNNY! Admit it, reader, you were thinking dirty stuff as well. We're all pervs here)** but suddnly

IT WAZ. **(What?)**

…..

The red hared avox gurl! **(DON'T DRAG HER INTO THIS, SHE'S TOO AWESOME!)**111111111111111111111111111 we gasped! "!"

NXT tim… HAEMITCH! **(Thank God you probably won't update this ever again, otherwise I might just kill you. NOBODY MESSES WITH HAYMITCH)**1111111111111111

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><p><strong>Reviews are love!<strong>

**I'M GOING TO MISS THIS SO MUCH!**


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